I'm discovering I need very little food at my stage of life and activity level. I could do very well on very little is what I tell myself. I need very little to satisfy hunger, but find myself snacking on things that bring me pleasure.
If it's physical pleasure I am wanting, in a peppermint chew, pastry, or salt chips, does that mean I'm trying to fill a void? As I think about it, I pop things in my mouth unconsciously, either because it's in sight, or I feel a sudden urge for something. I notice sometimes I use it as a distraction when I'm going to do something I'm not particularly fond of doing. Is it a distraction to my spiritual discipline because I feel so insignificant?
I have given up a lot in the past 15+ years for my spiritual growth. I am much happier! It is so liberating to not be weighed down with judgements, expectations and attachments. AHA! These three words are KEY elements in my relationship with food!
Many times I'm not interested in eating, but my body requires it. OR is it just showing symptoms of detoxing, like a headache or back pain? Is it a belief system I have brought along with an "over-concern-about-health" obsession I've noticed in the past? I know that I judge some foods as good for me and some bad.
What if eating is the same as the pleasure of sex, where we crave the momentary pleasure, but it has little or no meaningful effect in our lives other than filling a void? I have no problem with pleasure in any form that is a conscious choice as an experience without attachment. I believe life is to enjoy. But there is a difference between having sex and making love; as there is a difference in eating to avoid feeling or eating for pleasure.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
To What Am I Still Attached?
My relationship to food seemed to be the next thing in the way of my relationship to God. I began reading a book called Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. She helped me grasp the idea that many of us eat either to FEED our emotions or cover them up.
It stands to reason, since our very first experience with food is most likely an emotional memory of snuggling up to Mother's breast, smelling her smell, hearing her heartbeat, feeling her warmth and love pouring into us. All this at a time when we have just entered into a completely foreign world, in a limited body that feels nothing like our true nature, our essence. We are often frightened of the new, or traumatized by our sudden entry from a world of Light and Pure Love into a world filled with fear and uncertainty. Then there is the environmental mental conditioning we endure as children from well meaning adults in all kinds of positions of authority, whether real or perceived.
I realized I have put on more weight than I'm comfortable with. I've always tried to eat healthy. "Tried" is the key word here. "There is no try, Luke, there is only DO." Okay, so why do I HAVE to clean up my plate? Why do I habitually pop little bites into my mouth while passing the snack tray, (telling myself, "if it's just a bite it won't count), or look at the clock to see if it's time to eat. Why don't I just tune in to my body to see if I'm hungry? What about when I feel an urge to eat? Is it hunger or emotion?
I realized my relationship to food is no different than any other addiction or Belief System (BS). :)
It stands to reason, since our very first experience with food is most likely an emotional memory of snuggling up to Mother's breast, smelling her smell, hearing her heartbeat, feeling her warmth and love pouring into us. All this at a time when we have just entered into a completely foreign world, in a limited body that feels nothing like our true nature, our essence. We are often frightened of the new, or traumatized by our sudden entry from a world of Light and Pure Love into a world filled with fear and uncertainty. Then there is the environmental mental conditioning we endure as children from well meaning adults in all kinds of positions of authority, whether real or perceived.
I realized I have put on more weight than I'm comfortable with. I've always tried to eat healthy. "Tried" is the key word here. "There is no try, Luke, there is only DO." Okay, so why do I HAVE to clean up my plate? Why do I habitually pop little bites into my mouth while passing the snack tray, (telling myself, "if it's just a bite it won't count), or look at the clock to see if it's time to eat. Why don't I just tune in to my body to see if I'm hungry? What about when I feel an urge to eat? Is it hunger or emotion?
I realized my relationship to food is no different than any other addiction or Belief System (BS). :)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Into Me You See
The very first line of the first entry for my 2011 journal says..."As I ponder my intention for 2011, what comes in loud and clear is, more focus on my own indwelling I AM presence. I desire to understand it more fully and bring it into my reality where 'the greater (I AM) becomes one with the lesser (the body), and the lesser merges with the greater. ' " one of my favorite quotes from The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East.
WOW! Little did I know the adventure I was setting myself up for. It's funny how we are taken by surprise when something we ask for shows up. Like, OMG, hang on for the ride!
God seems to want me to get it 'cuz He's flooding me with an overwhelming amount of information and excitement about something I've been curious about and deeply desired ever since I read about John the Beloved, the three Nephites, Moses, and Elijah among others who have ascended. You see, I'm just naive enough to think that if anyone can do it, why can't I? Even Jesus said that whatever you see me do you can do and more. (paraphrase) I am taking him at his word.
In my search for Truth, I realized that most of us replace God with food, unwittingly of course, on a daily basis. We seem disconnected with God from moment to moment, filling our lives with distractions, doings of all kinds, myriad thoughts running wild in our head. You know the drill.
You guessed it. This blog is about the journey of my experiment on my relationship to God and my attachment to food.
This being my first blog, I'm feeling pretty vulnerable. Thanks for taking time to read it. Let me know if you like the blog. That will be very helpful. I'm interested in your thoughts and support. I'm open to learning. Remember, if you like it, please share it.
WOW! Little did I know the adventure I was setting myself up for. It's funny how we are taken by surprise when something we ask for shows up. Like, OMG, hang on for the ride!
God seems to want me to get it 'cuz He's flooding me with an overwhelming amount of information and excitement about something I've been curious about and deeply desired ever since I read about John the Beloved, the three Nephites, Moses, and Elijah among others who have ascended. You see, I'm just naive enough to think that if anyone can do it, why can't I? Even Jesus said that whatever you see me do you can do and more. (paraphrase) I am taking him at his word.
In my search for Truth, I realized that most of us replace God with food, unwittingly of course, on a daily basis. We seem disconnected with God from moment to moment, filling our lives with distractions, doings of all kinds, myriad thoughts running wild in our head. You know the drill.
You guessed it. This blog is about the journey of my experiment on my relationship to God and my attachment to food.
This being my first blog, I'm feeling pretty vulnerable. Thanks for taking time to read it. Let me know if you like the blog. That will be very helpful. I'm interested in your thoughts and support. I'm open to learning. Remember, if you like it, please share it.
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