Settling Into a Routine

Friday is the day of the week I was born.  I have heard that it is beneficial to do a water fast once a week on that day.  So, I am experimenting with doing a weekly water fast starting today in preparation for the 40 day in July.  As of May 12, 2011, I am committed to vegetarian lifestyle to support not killing animals needlessly and the abuse that often goes with it.

I am up to 10 minutes of sun gazing.  I have completed nearly 40 days of 98% raw food while cutting my food intake by 50%. Happily, I have lost 11 lbs. gradually and feel GREAT!  Now I'm moving into a week long detox to prepare for the 40 day water fast.  I experience more energy sometimes when I don't eat than when I do.

I am finding a lot of value in meditating more, so I have decided on two silent Sundays per month instead of the one I have been doing.  Also, I have sent an invitation to friends and family to utilize this space for their personal growth and development on those week ends that work for them.  It seems that everyone's growth is being accelerated and some are feeling overwhelmed. I find the day of silence really helps me get in touch with what I need and where I am.

Family Matters

This adventure feels very similar to the drastic changes I made in my beliefs fifteen years ago.  My family's response then was to not talk to me.

In retrospect, I imagine they were afraid for me and didn't know how to engage.  Kind of like when someone is REALLY REALLY sick.  So, it's IN the space, but no one wants to talk about it, or maybe I just really badly wanted to connect with family and share my experiences and they really weren't interested. I expect to do it differently this time.  I don't need anyone's approval nor acceptance, nor do I expect nor NEED anyone to understand.

This time, I am experiencing the shift very differently.  My family is is either curious or very supportive and excited for me. Those who are not interested are at least respectful. I'm experiencing lots of loving support from family and friends.  I LOVE  life!

Conscious Eating Practice

Conscious Eating gives your body exactly what it needs (Real Body Needs) in right quantity and at the right time. The following is a summary of the seven steps when you FEEL hungry:

1. Relax the mind and body and ask yourself,  "What is it?"...  Do not THINK about the reason, just FEEL the answer.  It is possible at this point the hunger will vanish and there is no RBN.  A picture or emotion may emerge, because blocked emotions or thinking mechanisms when they are pushed out, are first felt as hunger.  Feeding emotions put them back into the psyche.  Acknowledge the feeling and let it go.  Breathe through it.  BE present with it.
2. If you are still hungry, ask yourself what you want to eat.  Again, FEEL the answer.  Just imagine feeling it in your mouth and stomach.  Ask, "What is it?"...  Immerse yourself in any thoughts or pictures that emerge, allowing them to fully pass through you, as you FEEL them all over the mind and body.  After they are gone, they will never make you hungry again.
3. If you are still hungry, FEEL your every move as you prepare the food.  Ask the feeling again, "What is it?"
4. If you are still hungry, slowly bring a piece of food to your nose as you observe the slightest movement and body sensation.  As you smell the food ask again,  "What is it?"... only FEELING no thinking. If no emotion, picture, or thought appears, and hunger is still there, continue.
5. Bite the food.  Keep it in the mouth and FEEL, FEEL, FEEL...  OBSERVE, do NOT think! 
6. Very important.  Chew it for a long time.  Never less than three minutes.  The longer, the better.  Swallow ONLY when it has changed to liquid and changed the taste.  Again, FEEL, FEEL, FEEL...  OBSERVE, do NOT think! 
7. Proceed this way with every bite until you feel full. 

With CE you give the body what it needs, when it needs, and in the right amount.  You learn about yourself.  The intellect becomes more receptive to the voice of intuition, which gives you whatever you need.  

I have discovered much more pleasure with much less food because I'm not just gobbling it down.  I am amazed how just one time of practicing CE completely changed my relationship with food.  WOW!

Another Paradigm Shift

I am collecting information that supports my transformation, and putting it into practice.  I feel so grateful for the access to information available right in my home through the internet.  I am excited about a book called Life Style Without Food by Joachim. M. Werdin. It's a free download and just reading it TOTALLY shifted my paradigm around food.

One of my favorite Serenitext messages says,  "All form may be transformed, or changed in form, through a change of consciousness in regard to it."--Life & Teachings of The Masters    BTW Serenitext  is a positive  affirmation daily text service that sends me random texts to my phone, that I have programmed into my account.  It is a powerful reminder that helps me stay focused on what I want.  You can find it on http//www.serenitext.com  I absolutely LOVE IT!!

I notice that I can be sustained very well with very little food just from my shift in consciousness around food.  Plus, I have other choices to recharge my energies besides food, when I need it. The Conscious Eating practice has helped tremendously!  To learn about CE, tune in to my next blog.  See you there! :)

Learning to Play

In the past, I have taken myself way too seriously in "striving" to be perfect.  Though I have a desire for ascension, this is NOT about  the "goal" of transformation beyond physical limitations.  What it IS about is learning to LISTEN!  Listen to my body, develop my intuition, tune in to "the still small voice" of Divine guidance.  LIVE and have JOY in my soul purpose.

So, how do you stay focused on something this intense and still PLAY with it?  The answer pops in as soon as I ask.  LET GO of attachments to the outcome. Change the way you see it.  Oh, Yeah.  "Adventure & experiment" are the key words here.  The thrill of the journey.  Learning through curiosity.  Enjoy the game. That is what this whole adventure is about anyway.

Trust the Divine

What came up for me today is learning to trust my relationship with the Divine. - God.  Everything seems to be based on some kind of relationship. Trust is Divine medicine.  As I push through my fear of the unknown and learn to trust my feelings / intuition, I will grow in knowledge and understanding.

The real question is, "How DEEPLY can I love myself?"  Have you ever really FELT a DEEP genuine LOVE for yourself?  Isn't that where the Divine spark is?  So, can I trust myself to Love all that I AM, NOW?

To Fear or To Love?

I notice I have more energy since I started sun gazing.  I have worked up to over six minutes.  I need less sleep, and have more time for meditation and writing.  I don't feel the exhaustion at the end of the day that I used to.  I sleep better.  Headaches are gone.  I LOVE how simple it is and how much it is giving me.

It's amazing how much we have been conditioned to fear the very things we are naturally drawn to.  I have intuitively looked directly at the sun high in the sky (with eyes closed of course) to take away a headache or anxiety before knowing about the benefits of sun gazing.

Studies in the 1940's proved that sun bathing during safe hours is beneficial to our health and well being.  It was used with great success by many healing retreats to cure diseases.  The skin is a major eliminative organ. When we perspire, it releases as much toxin from the body as peeing. We have been conditioned to be afraid of the sun.  Worse than that, we have been conditioned to use petroleum based UV protection that clogs the pores of the skin.  That is where most skin cancer comes from.  Not from the sun. Hmmm...Wonder what else we've been conditioned to believe?

It's time to let go that fear.  Are you with me?

Sungazing

I was first introduced to Sun gazing by my sister during the holidays.  I didn't think much of it until I had lunch with her in March.  Her energy was much different than I had ever experienced it.  She has always been a bit timid and has struggled with her health all her life.  She seemed unafraid, grounded, and at peace.  I learned that she was feeling the effects of sun gazing.  She referred me to a website called solarhealingcenter.com/process/.

I printed an article that explains the process and benefits of sun gazing.  The process consists of simply gazing at the sun (like you would watch a TV screen) for 10 seconds during the safe hour after sunrise and before sunset.  Each day 10 seconds is added until you have reached 44 minutes at the end of approximately 9 months. This recharges the brain HRM refers to as a "brainutor", because the brain is just like a computer. Then you must walk relaxed and barefoot on bare earth for 45 minutes for 6 days, (preferably with the sun falling on you), which helps your body hold the charge.  This also activates the pineal gland. See the article for amazing facts about the pineal gland.

Some of the benefits listed in the article are:
0-3 mos. self confidence, no worries, fearless, mental balance, compassion. peace  
3-6 mos. when you have reached 30 minutes of gazing, physical diseases start to disappear, photosynthesis works to transform the sun's energy to usable energy for all organs of the body
6-9 mos. hunger starts going down palpably since all food is an indirect source of the sun's energy.  After nine months, hunger, and cravings go away entirely.

I learned even more by listening to some of HRM's youtube videos that were not included in the article.  I learned that when you sungaze, it is best if you are barefoot on bare earth, with knees slightly bent, and back straight.  You must not be afraid of the sun, but LOVE it.

What I noticed right away for me was an increase in my energy levels.  I especially notice the difference when I'm fasting.  I don't get so drained in energy.  The sun is feeding me. YESS!!

More Possible Opportunities

Some other opportunities for growth that might show up:

Belonging to a group or social enjoyment-In the past, food has been used as a way to connect with people.  I may feel  pressure from others to join them in social eating (more likely, my need to be part of a social event).  With my loving family, I think the only pressure would come from me wanting or needing to belong.  They are supportive and respectful of my choices. 

Most social events do center around food.  Have you ever wondered about that?  Hmmm? Do we use food as a distraction to cover up how uncomfortable we are with ourselves around others?  Being present with ourselves is challenging enough, but being present with  others requires a whole new level of consciousness.  

Old habits-Sometimes I'll pass by some food sitting on the counter and pop it in my mount unconsciously.  Sometimes when I'm putting away leftovers, I'll eat the spoonful that won't fit in the container even when I'm full.  Can any of you relate to that?

Emotional eating-As in other co-dependent behaviors, I get to look at what I am not wanting to feel emotionally and embrace it with Love, through the middle path.  The middle path being to allow, with no judgement, no attachment, no aversion.

I may experience grieving, but I don't see inedia as a loss or end as much as I see it as a new way of being, liberated from physical limitations, whether it be mental, physical or emotional.  I imagine all three will need to be addressed.

I may encounter criticism, skepticism, or shunning, but none of these are new.  Whenever I embark on something out of the ordinary, I am met with my own self doubts first and foremost, (expressed through others).  I get to practice moving through a whole new consciousness again.

Winter may present a whole different challenge.  JMW says true inediates can regulate their own body temperature.  Maybe I will have it figured out by then.   We'll see.

Even the fear of death may show up-I get to practice equanimity and open my mind  and core beliefs to new possibilities, knowing I am being supported because the time is right.

Possible Opportunities for Growth

I feel confident that the time is right.  My body, mind, and spirit are in  healthy balance.  However, I may have many opportunities show up to anchor in my commitment to inedia:

Craving for foods I love and don't often get-I hope my love for the new found energy I now have access to will assist me and replace the feeling of lack and heaviness I now have with food. I read on another breatharian site that the cravings for certain foods, is the body trying to come into physical balance because of emotional blocks. Hmm?

My family was up for the holiday.  Wouldn't you know it?  They brought my two all time favorite meals!  (pizza, and soup with garlic bread)  I was completely surprised how easy it was as I continued being conscious about what my body wanted.  I'm curious if the key here is that I have not put any pressure on myself to do this. Therefore, I know I am at choice in every moment.

My experience was, when I had the thought,"Whoa! This is my FAVORITE food!", I checked into my body to see if there was any emotional charge or craving.  I discovered that right now, I am more interested in realizing my desire than the few moments of pleasure with food.  Surprisingly, the aroma didn't even effect me. Through the Conscious Eating practice, I have  become so sensitive to the way my body FEELS, that now when I think about eating that kind of food, I realize it is not worth the heaviness my body endures for several hours. In addition, I have to expend lots of energy to process and get rid of the toxins I ingest. I'm really not interested in being an eating machine anymore.

New Ways

I feel passionate about the message of Jesus Christ being about bringing the duality (which leads to death) into the Oneness (Spirit).  Raising above the laws of nature, duality, opposites, into the One, the Law of Love, and eternity.

I know I cannot fail when I see it as a journey of learning and being with innocent curiosity.  I think of my little grand baby, Metallic's expression as I write this.  Huge innocent eyes, curious, open to learning and feedback, no hurry to get anywhere nor DO anything, nor "accomplish" any goals.  Simply BE where you are and ask for what you need.  BE patient, kind, and loving to myself.

When my awakening process became easeful is when I let go of expectations on myself and others and celebrated in gratitude every win, accepted and embraced my imperfectness and my perfection, but most of all when I let go of the stories around limitations, and chose to believe in and embrace my Divinity.  I am NOT out to PROVE anything to anyone.  Have fun with it!   PLAY with it!  This is about getting to know myself on a deeper level, allowing myself to unfold and reveal the Divine. Just BE ME.  Yeah ME!

Self Doubts

I feel ready and excited about this new adventure/experiment in pushing the limitations of the physical and opening myself to other possibilities.  I'm noticing a little anxiety about doing all the right things so I don't mess up.  Having doubts that I can pull it off, and that I will know the necessary steps.  The closer the time of my commitment comes, the more anxiety I feel.  My ego is screaming loudly. YOU CAN'T DO THIS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?  YOU'RE NOT BIG ENOUGH NOR SMART ENOUGH TO PULL THIS OFF!

Then my friend Don Tolman mentioned steps to take that made me wonder if I have set my expectations too high.  I imagine this part of the process for me is to have old patterns show up that I have played out in the past.  In the past, I have made it hard and held myself rigidly in my "goal", putting a lot of pressure on myself, as I felt insignificant and small.

*I commit to having this be easeful, and having it be about listening to my body, developing my intuition, while being open to feedback and new possibilities. 


I am being reminded that it is NOT about the goal.  It is all about the journey!  Thank you, God for the reminder!  Rigidity is fear based.  This adventure wants to be about discovering possibilities, learning new ways of BEING .  It is simply a new level of learning.  The meaning of it all for me is to learn what I came to teach.  I came for the JOY of the rich experiences planet Earth has to offer.  Life IS beautiful!