My relationship to food seemed to be the next thing in the way of my relationship to God. I began reading a book called Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. She helped me grasp the idea that many of us eat either to FEED our emotions or cover them up.
It stands to reason, since our very first experience with food is most likely an emotional memory of snuggling up to Mother's breast, smelling her smell, hearing her heartbeat, feeling her warmth and love pouring into us. All this at a time when we have just entered into a completely foreign world, in a limited body that feels nothing like our true nature, our essence. We are often frightened of the new, or traumatized by our sudden entry from a world of Light and Pure Love into a world filled with fear and uncertainty. Then there is the environmental mental conditioning we endure as children from well meaning adults in all kinds of positions of authority, whether real or perceived.
I realized I have put on more weight than I'm comfortable with. I've always tried to eat healthy. "Tried" is the key word here. "There is no try, Luke, there is only DO." Okay, so why do I HAVE to clean up my plate? Why do I habitually pop little bites into my mouth while passing the snack tray, (telling myself, "if it's just a bite it won't count), or look at the clock to see if it's time to eat. Why don't I just tune in to my body to see if I'm hungry? What about when I feel an urge to eat? Is it hunger or emotion?
I realized my relationship to food is no different than any other addiction or Belief System (BS). :)
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