My Relationship with Food

The message I keep getting strongest about the 2012 shift is, "Stay in the Pure Love of God where the sacred heart is.  Stay calm, no matter what is going on around you.  Know that what you are experiencing is a direct reflection of what's inside you.  Pay Attention!  Everything that is happening is according to God's plan.  Allow it to be so!  This shift is an individual affair.  There are no Masters to look up to.  You are your own Master.  We may be moving from a physical experience to an etherial experience." This is where I'm feeling drawn to most, and I seem to be very strongly supported by Spirit.

There are three levels of living in every aspect of our lives, including relationship. The first level is an unconscious co-dependence, the belief that one can't function without the other.  The second level is a recognition of accountability that leads to independence, where wholeness is achieved in the individual.     In the third level, having achieved wholeness, both parties co-exist with love and respect to one another both bringing a conscious wholeness to contribute to the relationship.

The dependence and addiction to food is like a co-dependent relationship and leads to death.  I have a hope that I'm ready to move to an independence from food, where I know I don't need it.  Since I now know there are other sources of energy available to me.  When my instinctual programming accepts my wholeness without food, then I may move into an interdependent relationship where I can enjoy it from time to time when it suits me, but my life doesn't depend on it.  I already know I can live for some length of time without food through my fasting experiences, but inedia is a whole different level of  consciousness and functions with no effort.  It becomes a preference.

The NEED for food is just another belief system I'm ready to let go of.  Inedia is a new consciousness I'm ready to embrace.  I expect to receive lots of insights and learnings around that this year.  I may or may not master it.  I may have many opportunities to anchor in a new belief system,  and I'm excited to explore it.

How Does It Work?

I have been researching other ways besides food that can nourish the body.  I find that sun gazing and energies from the earth are sources of energy.  In Lifestyle Without Food, several possible methods to make this transition are listed. 

Marinna shared about a scientific study about when something is done in the body consistently for forty days, the body actually creats new sister cells.  I want to look more into this.  My thought is that the 40 day water fast may be just the thing to facillitate my body in forming new DNA through the frequency of Love to push past the psychical and physical need for any food.  It's a matter of reprogramming the instincts.  I don't know exactly HOW it works, and I trust I will know more at the end of this experiment than I do now.  As I contemplate on this adventure, I am receiving a lot of support and insights.

In seeking understanding about ascending beyond the limitations of the flesh, I have discovered a simplicity that is profound.  Simply, Love ALL life.  That which you Love and give attention to increases.  If food really is a stand-in for love/God, then it makes sense that in loving my true nature, recognizing, owning, embracing the Divine withinin, food is not a necessary life support, since God is Love, Light, Life.  Love in its pure essence raises mankind above the laws of nature, because we are obeying the Law of Love which superceeds or rises above the law of nature.  LOVE holds together eternally. Love creates, consciousness creates.

Our first experience with food as emotional beings is suckling our mother's breast next to her heart and feeling her love.  It is natural to use food to attempt to create that feeling or to fill that NEED to be loved.  As we discover that we ARE Love, the need for food is absent.  The process then is letting go of a belief that no longer serves.  Most of the food we eat is toxic to the human body and the energy it takes to digest food actually depletes the body of life force.

Everything in Alignment

I turned again to study the creation process, as taught by the Beautiful Lady in ...Teachings of the Masters Far East Vol.1 p.28.  I have  been putting her instructions to memory again this year. I noticed that each time I have done this, I notice a huge shift in consciousness and begin manifesting whatever it is I am desiring to learn at the time.  This time my focus was on my body transforming from physical limitations bound to the laws of nature, to a limitless body of light.  I feel  very supported by all those who know me.

I feel supported by God as well.  It seems when I set a clear intention for this journey, all kinds of information came flooding in from many different sources.  I found several guided meditations done by a breatharian named Jasmuheen that are very helpful, and more insights from her experience.  I really enjoyed the meditations and came away feeling confident it will be easeful.

I have come to a place, finally, where I know there is nothing wrong with my body.  I'm in perfect health.  I do realize I am desiring to be more present with the food I put in my body and with my activities.  I am practicing being more present with myself with gentleness and compassion.   I realized most if not all emotional blocks are cleared.  My mind, body and spirit seem to be in alignment.

Few things can throw me off center any more.  I have faced death many times, mine and Gary's and have no issues that I'm aware of.  We have learned how to just BE and allow.  This experiement/adventure with food and the possibility of a transformation from a physical body to a body of light feels exciting.  I FEEL the Love within transforming my psyche to a Spiritual  body by letting go of physical limitations.  I see health, abundance, and prosperity all around me. The mystery awaits to be unfolded. Life is Joyous, Loving, and Beautiful.  It seems that everything is lining up for me to move forward.  Thank you, Thank you, God!

The Seed of Desire

My contemplation about the extended fast led me to a remembering of a desire that was planted in the soil of my soul several years ago while reading from The  Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East by Baird T. Spalding.(LTMFE)  As I pondered, I realized I have done a lot of work in the last 20 years to let go of any limiting beliefs, baggage and fears that have come between me and the Christ within. I have now experienced what "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God" means. I have come to a place of profound  and lasting peace, happiness, and abundant prosperity.  I felt an urge at the beginning of this year to increase my contemplation and introspection.  I realize now, it is really a strong inner urge to grow and expand my consciousness even more.  It's time now to get out of the next box of limiting beliefs.

I desire it in my deepest understanding - that of taking this physical body, as the inheritance talked about in scripture, the ultimate purpose of life on this planet.  Ever since I heard the message of Jesus overcoming death, and that he showed the way.  I have desired it.  I have never really been enamored by material things and events and doings, but I have always felt a deep connection to Mother earth and been curious about life, how it works, my purpose.  I think this is normal.

I realized at some point I became fascinated by the spiritual realm and all the beauty and possibilities to create by our very thought.  I became so dissatisfied with the nothingness of the material world, I thought death was the only way out of my misery.  Then I found Sons of God, Man Triumphant, and LTMFE (see above), and Autobiography of a Yogi.  In these stories as well as stories of John the Beloved and the Three Nephites of the Book of  Mormon, I found a possibility, sparked by Jesus' promise of salvation which I interpreted as no death. 

In my journey to Love myself, to know that I AM Love and all that implies, I began to form a strong desire to become like them - Ascended Masters!  I worked through many beliefs I had about myself and my body.  Finally, I understood the truth of an affirmation I learned from the Masters, "I AM now all I desire to BE."  As I allowed that to settle into my whole being, I became very content with who I AM.  Whether I died in this life or didn't was no longer an issue.  Immortality was not a goal I must attain, but a fact of my existence.  It would manifest on its own when I AM ready to know the Truth of It!  No rush! No pressure. Yeah!

Don't Want Do Want

In Autobiography of a Yogi, Yogananda tells about Babaji, the "Deathless Avatar".  At the end of March, as I sat in contemplation about an extended forty day fast I am planning for this summer, I felt him with me all morning. He was behind me, embracing me, holding the space for me to push through all doubts.  In meditation, I  planted freshly the seed of my desire in the soil of my soul, in the very heart of my knowing, for deathless transformation and to serve all the children of the Father. He reminded me that as the physical body blends with and becomes one with Spirit, it needs only the will to live to sustain it.  I realized on a deeper level that my relationship with food must change drastically.

The process of creating what I do want seems to start with creating what I don't want.  So, when I came back to meditate after lunch, I felt an all too familiar feeling of heaviness, bloat, and indigestion from eating twice as much  as I needed or even wanted.  It was delicious in my mouth but required most of my energy and attention for the rest of the afternoon.  This experience is strengthening my resolve to eat less,  especially cooked food and meat.

Since I couldn't meditate because of food, my thoughts went to the 40 day water fast.  I began formulating somewhat of a plan. I thought about going off meat first, then forty days before the first day of the fast, I will go on 100% raw  food, then eight days before the first day, do an apple juice detox designed by Blessed Herbs.  It seems I would have less toxins to deal with on the water fast.  I have done many small fasts in the past just to maintain good health.  I know a little bit what to expect in terms of symptoms, but on a small scale. This is when I decided to do a blog.  I wondered if a blog would support my commitment and perhaps be helpful to others who may be interested.

The timing feels good since I feel that this year is about introspection, learning to follow intuition, and preparing myself for "the shift".  I may do lemon water when it feels right, or tea, or even coffee.  It will be an experiment for sure.  I'm definitely seeing it as a great opportunity to sharpen my intuition.

Trusting My Good/God

I still love sharing things, but the energy behind it has changed. It's one of the many ways I get to connect with people and share the things that inspire or fascinate me.  It's all in the perception.

So, instead of wanting to fix the world  by spreading awareness of a society based on the highest-good-for-all, (I can see that as another project for me) I know  that society, is already in place in the hearts of those who resonate with that vision.  As in religion or anything else--I don't NEED to convert anyone to my perception!


Simply BE in my Sacred Heart--the Love I already AM.  Embrace fully my Divine nature.  BE the change I wish to see.  Know that this IS the vision of my fellow BEINGS of Love and Light.  BE willing to embrace and embody innocent perception.

I commit to creating more opportunities to contemplate/meditate, reflect, and practice being in my Sacred Heart.  See what I find/feel there, honor and respect my Divine Nature--The Love That I AM.

I feel that I am finally landing in the knowing of who I am--loving and appreciating ALL that I AM.  I feel confident and aware of my Source.  I am letting go the need to be heard and understood.  I am really enjoying the time and opportunity to contemplate, write and read more.  The quiet nurtures me.  Thank you God.

Nothing to Fix

I discovered in Women Food and God  how much of my life I have spent trying to fix something or someone I judge as broken, including and especially myself.  I hardly remember a time when I didn't think there was something wrong with me; - my body, my personality, my mind, my decisions, my very existence.  I went the extra mile to make sure no one else discovered it.  As I think back on my life, I found a plethora of stories, events, and pain that presented plenty of proof there was something wrong with me that I needed to fix.

Just a year ago, during a massage, I began exploring some of the stories in my head that I was holding on to.  At the time, I was trying very hard to fix one of my children, and I still had some concern about a heart condition I had been experiencing.  I became aware that my unfinished projects were keeping me interested in staying on the planet.  If I ran out of meaningful projects, what would be the purpose of staying?  I also realized I had created the heart condition as a back door out if I didn't want to stay.

AH-HA! I realized when I NEED a purpose, I'm still coming from a place of lack, of needing to be valued.  It's amazing how subtle error thoughts can be. Tricky little beggars. Here's a trick. When I let go the need to fix my children or my body,  I moved on to "righting" the whole world.  I then took up the crusade of the Highest-Good-for-All project, striving to get the word out. I finally realized  a couple of months ago that even that is a distraction to knowing who I AM. 


I just LOVE inner work!  Isn't life beautiful how it just keeps unfolding, letting another layer show. Each layer reveals more beauty more light, more Love. Yummm!  Women Food and God helped me see how I can use food as one of the many tools for inner work.

Pay Attention

"To discover what you really believe, pay attention to the way you act-and to what you do when things don't go the way you think they should.  Pay attention to what you value.  Pay attention to how, and on what you spend your time, your money.  Pay attention to the way you EAT." --Geneen Roth in Women Food and God

I made a commitment to paying close attention to what I eat without judgement, and really BEING present with the food as I'm eating.  Would you believe it?  An incredible book showed up as I was searching on the net for support in my experiment! It's called Life Style Without Food by Joachim M Werdin.  It's a free download on  http://inedia.info/.

WOW! Thank you, God! I feel freakin' excited about this book and the way JMW gently takes you through every possibility of inedia (non-eating)!  It gives me a feeling that this process could be very easeful.
 
On the chapter called "Conscious Eating", he takes you through seven practices of very detailed CE and explains the benefits.  One of the main concepts in the CE process is to FEEL EVERYTHING. No thinking. No judgements. No stories.  Just ALLOW the feelings to rise and BE PRESENT with them.  Conscious Eating gives your body exactly what it needs (Real Body Needs) in the right quantity and at the right time." p.104 LSWF

Just in reading the book, I've noticed myself shifting to a whole new level of awareness around eating.  I haven't even started practicing  the steps of Conscious Eating yet. Thank you, JMW.

Pleasure or Craving?

I'm discovering I need very little food at my stage of life and activity level. I could do very well on very little is what I tell myself.  I need very little to satisfy hunger, but find myself snacking on things that  bring me pleasure.

If it's physical pleasure I am wanting, in a peppermint chew, pastry, or salt chips, does that mean I'm trying to fill a void?  As I think about it, I pop things in my mouth unconsciously, either because it's in sight, or I feel a sudden urge for something.  I notice sometimes I use it as a distraction when I'm going to do something I'm not particularly fond of doing.  Is it a distraction to my spiritual discipline because I feel so insignificant?

I have given up a lot in the past 15+ years for my spiritual growth.  I am much happier!  It is so liberating to not be weighed down with judgements,  expectations and attachments. AHA! These three words are KEY elements in my relationship with food!

Many times I'm not interested in eating, but my body requires it. OR is it just showing symptoms of detoxing, like a headache or back pain?   Is it a belief system I have brought along with an "over-concern-about-health" obsession I've noticed in the past?  I know that I judge some foods as good for me and some bad.

What if eating is the same as the pleasure of sex, where we crave the momentary pleasure, but it has little or no meaningful effect in our lives other than filling a void?  I have no problem with pleasure in any form that is a conscious choice as an experience without attachment. I believe life is to enjoy.  But there is a difference between having sex and making love; as there is a difference in eating to avoid feeling or eating for pleasure.

To What Am I Still Attached?

My relationship to food seemed to be the next thing in the way of my relationship to God.  I began reading a book called Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.  She helped me grasp the idea that many of us eat either to FEED our emotions or cover them up.

It stands to reason, since our very first experience with food is most likely an emotional memory of snuggling up to Mother's breast, smelling her smell, hearing her heartbeat, feeling her warmth and love pouring into us.  All this at a time when we have just entered into a completely foreign world, in a limited body that feels nothing like our true nature, our essence. We are often frightened of the new, or traumatized by our sudden entry from a world of Light and Pure Love into a world filled with fear and uncertainty. Then there is the environmental mental conditioning we endure as children from well meaning adults in all kinds of positions of authority, whether real or perceived.

I realized I have put on more weight than I'm comfortable with. I've always tried to eat healthy.  "Tried" is the key word here.  "There is no try, Luke, there is only DO."  Okay, so why do I HAVE to clean up my plate?  Why do I habitually pop little bites into my mouth while passing the snack tray, (telling myself, "if it's just a bite it won't count), or look at the clock to see if it's time to eat.  Why don't I just tune in to my body to see if I'm hungry?  What about when I feel an urge to eat? Is it hunger or emotion?

I realized my relationship to food is no different than any other addiction or Belief  System  (BS). :)

Into Me You See

The very first line of the first entry for my 2011 journal says..."As I ponder my intention for 2011, what comes in loud and clear is, more focus on my own indwelling I AM  presence.  I desire to understand it more fully and bring it into my reality where  'the greater (I AM) becomes one with the lesser (the body), and the lesser merges with the greater. ' "  one of my favorite quotes from The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East.

WOW! Little did I know the adventure I was setting myself up for. It's funny how we are taken by surprise when something we ask for shows up.  Like, OMG, hang on for the ride!

God seems to want me to get it 'cuz He's flooding me with an overwhelming amount of information and excitement about something I've been curious about and deeply desired ever since I read about John the Beloved, the three Nephites, Moses, and Elijah among others who have ascended. You see, I'm just naive enough to think that if anyone can do it, why can't I?  Even Jesus said that whatever you see me do you can do and more. (paraphrase)  I am taking him at his word.
 
In my search for Truth, I realized that most of us replace God with food, unwittingly of course, on a daily basis. We seem disconnected with God from moment to moment, filling our lives with distractions, doings of all kinds, myriad thoughts running wild in our head.  You know the drill.

You guessed it. This blog is about the journey of my experiment on my relationship to God and my attachment to food. 

This being my first blog, I'm feeling pretty vulnerable. Thanks for taking time to read it. Let me know if you like the blog. That will be very helpful. I'm interested in your thoughts and support. I'm open to learning. Remember, if you like it, please share it.