Don't Want Do Want

In Autobiography of a Yogi, Yogananda tells about Babaji, the "Deathless Avatar".  At the end of March, as I sat in contemplation about an extended forty day fast I am planning for this summer, I felt him with me all morning. He was behind me, embracing me, holding the space for me to push through all doubts.  In meditation, I  planted freshly the seed of my desire in the soil of my soul, in the very heart of my knowing, for deathless transformation and to serve all the children of the Father. He reminded me that as the physical body blends with and becomes one with Spirit, it needs only the will to live to sustain it.  I realized on a deeper level that my relationship with food must change drastically.

The process of creating what I do want seems to start with creating what I don't want.  So, when I came back to meditate after lunch, I felt an all too familiar feeling of heaviness, bloat, and indigestion from eating twice as much  as I needed or even wanted.  It was delicious in my mouth but required most of my energy and attention for the rest of the afternoon.  This experience is strengthening my resolve to eat less,  especially cooked food and meat.

Since I couldn't meditate because of food, my thoughts went to the 40 day water fast.  I began formulating somewhat of a plan. I thought about going off meat first, then forty days before the first day of the fast, I will go on 100% raw  food, then eight days before the first day, do an apple juice detox designed by Blessed Herbs.  It seems I would have less toxins to deal with on the water fast.  I have done many small fasts in the past just to maintain good health.  I know a little bit what to expect in terms of symptoms, but on a small scale. This is when I decided to do a blog.  I wondered if a blog would support my commitment and perhaps be helpful to others who may be interested.

The timing feels good since I feel that this year is about introspection, learning to follow intuition, and preparing myself for "the shift".  I may do lemon water when it feels right, or tea, or even coffee.  It will be an experiment for sure.  I'm definitely seeing it as a great opportunity to sharpen my intuition.